The Floating Order, a story by Erin Pringle (in response to the trial of Andea Yates)

 

Over twenty years ago, I wrote the fictional story "The Floating Order" in response to the second trial of Andrea Yates, which was ongoing at the time--the courtroom argument being whether Yates was, at the time of killing her children, not only of sound mind and body but also that she had planned, or premeditated, the deaths--or, that, rather, at the time of the killings, Yates was neither of sound mind nor body and, therefore, could not plan the killings with any reasonable forethought. Of course, both of these arguments sit on a teeter totter whose fulcrum requires a specific defintion of reason and madness, and what each entails. 

I am the daughter of a man diagnosed with Manic Depression in the early 1980s; overmedicated, my father spent the majority of my childhood asleep during the day. It wasn't until my teenage years, and near the end of his life, that the recipe of his depression medication was rewritten by a heart doctor, due to a sudden heart condition, to a dose that lifted him from that constant sleep to a more daytime life. Owing partially to this, I have been built over my life with an awareness and empathy for those carrying depression, experience with how its societal stigma becomes internalized, as well as an understanding of how one is moved through a gauntlet of medications that are prescribed, tried, then thrown out and replaced with another concoction for the cauldron.   

With the recent discussion around the Lindsay Clancy trial, I have felt fanned the same frustrations I had as a woman in my early twenties, regarding the many misperceptions of mental illness. And since my reaction remains basically the same (though with more nuance now that I have become a mother myself), instead of writing a new story that says the same thing differently, here is the old story, as I have little new to say. "The Floating Order" may not be my best work, but it is, I think, an honest attempt to use fiction to get at some truth--regardless of its unpleasant catalyst. I had hoped that the story would elucidate the symbiotic relationship between reason and madness, in the same or similar way that I recall Michel Foucault pointing out in Madness & Civiliazation: a man who believes he is made of glass and will therefore break--is still following a path of reason (glass breaks; if I am made of glass, I can break). However, I fear that the story can lead as much to a dismissal of its narrator because of her way of thinking. It is, after all, the last story I wrote from an adult narrator's perspective for many years, having been told that the style seemed more realistic to child narrators (or, rather, our conventional perception of children). I still find resonance, regardless, throughout "The Floating Order," such as when the narrator points out that some women can clutch better than she can.  

While I understand that many people believe that silence or  judgement is a safer route for subjects that seem inherently evil, taboo, or beyond the pale, I continue to believe that it is through discussion that we find truths, and that a discussion of a subject is not an approval or endorsement of its subject. To speak of war--to tell stories of war and war stories--is not to endorse or perpetuate war. If anything, it's likely a way to lessen the harms of war. It is within this spirit that I share "The Floating Order"--as a contribution to the onging, but again current, conversation.

My story "The Floating Order" was originally published in the fantasy magazine Electric Velocipede, and later in my 2009 story collection, The Floating Order, by Scotland-based Two Ravens Press (both now defunct). I retain full copyright. 

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 The Floating Order by Erin Pringle